Sometimes...

When it's quiet at night and Jason is at work, and Matthias and the dogs are sleeping and i'm wide awake all alone... I suddenly realize I feel like a different person. Like I'm not myself. i struggle to find my identity as I sit on my couch. I glance up at the pictures of my grandparents. My grandpa looking quite strapping in his dress blues. My grandma all dolled up. There's a note on the bottom of the picture to my grandfather. And once again harsh reality sets in. They're gone. And I can't physically talk to them anymore. I feel like an orphan. All of a sudden I'm 4 years old lost in the mall. I'm frozen. I can't move. I'm scared. People are staring at me as if I have a scarlet letter singed on my forehead. I don't know who I am anymore.

I want people to ask me how I'm doing so I an talk it out. At the same time I don't want people to ask me about it b/c I don't want to experience the pain. So I'm secretly mad that people don't know what I want. That i don't know what I want. And then it hits again. Because I don't know who I am anymore. I'm now Veronica. With Dead Parents. And it sucks.

Oh Jim how I miss thee...

My thursdays are officially ruined. i tried to not let it get me down last week. Well, I was too busy to notice. But Thursday TV orgasm night is no longer. Fucking TIme Warner/KXAN bullshit. i don't give a shit who's lying. FIx the Shit and Fix it SOON.

B/c I don't know how much longer I an go without Seeing Jim and Dwight squabble. I seriously may load up Matthias and head over to jason's parent's house and commandeer Jason's dad's mini tv in the garage (it's not hooked up to cable)

Speaking of names...

Jason and I have gone back and forth over this. I really REALLY don't want to change my name. Nothing against him. AT ALL. I just don't understand why I have to be the one to change my name b/c of some antiquated "rule." So I get called a feminist. I told him I would compromise and hyphenate. That's not good enough. *sigh* Oh well, I guess we still have 4 months to fight about it. And really if I change my name I can't do my super cool name trick. Then how UNCOOL would I be??

Nametags

I thought I escaped from them when I left the retail world. Apparently i was wrong. Although it's not "mandatory" it's "highly recommended that we wear them. Translation: Wear them. It's not a big deal really. But I prefer my name to show my middle initial. My nametag doe snot reflect that. I fell like an imposter wearing the name of someone else... Who's Veronica Cantu? I'm Veronica N. Cantu. You must have me mistaken with someone else. heh heh

Weekend Part 5

On to Six! (the bar not the street as we had to clarify so many times at dinner.)

It was fun. I hadn't been there since they added so many elements. upstairs with a view. Dancing (yes!) in the middle, chill relaxed environemnt with pool tables and darts below. I thnk I may visit this place more often. i remember when it first opened. Or as I was telling everyone that night, "when Kim and I opened the bar" (ha!) there was only one part to it. Or maybe there was more but it wasn't as prominent as it is now. The only thing about upstairs was that the dang fans were on MESSING UP MY HAIR. But we did get some sexy model pics...




Some more random pics from upstairs.







The it was on to donstairs. We had originally thought the b-day girl had abandoned us. But she was just downstairs. :o)

Some pics of us Working the sexy leopard chiars








then we decided to leave. But before we do, lets tell the owners of Six tahat saloon style doors are not appropriate for restrooms. Thanks.

Onward to Apple Bar?? No we decided to let Jack pick. Prague. BAD MOVE. Jack at that point lost his bar choosing privileges FOREVER. WE ran into trouble, so Jager BOMBS! Then Red Fez. More trouble. Seriously, Jack, you're 0-2.




All in all, I had such a fun time this weekend. The various celebrations were great I wished Laura would've made it out on Saturday night tho... Laura, we missed you! Thanks to Kim for driving home as I was in no condition to drive. But I must admit, I'm pretty cute with squinty drunk eyes as you can notice in the pics. (the squinty eyes, not the cuteness... no, actually go ahead and notice the cuteness.)

BTW, still haven't finished my 101 list. I did start however. only 38 items on there. LAME.

Weekend Part 4

We had just left Cru and were walking over to Six. Melissa and Kim were walking in front of me so I didn't notice at first, but there was a man passed out on the ground with his head hanging off the curb. A lady was standing by him. We asked if she was all right. She said she was and that she didn't know the man. Her husband and she had dug thru his pockets and found out his name and where he worked. They also found what they thought was a work visa and so they didn't want to call the cops to get him arrested or deported. They called his job which was a restaurant up the road and that someone was coming over to get him. She thanked us for asking if things were ok and said that everyone else had either walked by or took pictures of the man passed out. NICE people. This was a situation where it did not look ok. Not some stereotypical scene where a drunken frat guy passes out.

Just then a man walks up and says he'll take care of this guy. he said, "he's had a bad time" then he says softer, "his brother was murdered last night" Wow. Poor guy. I wonder if that happened to me how distraught I would be. My prayers go out to him.

Weekend Part 3

Saturday night was Temi's b-day celebration at Cru. Not only were we there to see her but her new "friend." The atmosphere was nice. The wine was pricey. I tried to drink my glass slow. But it was nice to personalize the menu for her!



Me and my gorgeous friends!



Now before I go any further, let me take a moment to say that at this point on Saturday night, I had literally been drinking since Thursday night at the rehearsal dinner... We drank before the wedding Friday, at the wedding, downtown after the wedding, woke up at 9:30 and began drinking at 10:00 for the Texas/OU game... I did take a couple of hours off in b/w the game and dinner, but still, I was feeling good...

So all of a sudden a war was ensued. I'm not sure how it started, but apparently the main goal was to snap as many pictures of people without them noticing. WHy you ask? WHo knows? He's a few of the casualty pics... Oh and Temi's new man Bryan was the captain of the other team. I'm not sure who was on my team and who was on his but it was on!





ANd seriously, how cute were Temi and Brian?? He was so intent in her words. Looking at her when she spoke. Her hand placed on his back from time to time. I miss that honeymoon phase. *sighs* But btw Temi, I APPROVE!